trying to move on

Second 20 not as good as the first.

Right now I am just trying to not let it mess with my head. You know, look on the bright side.

Thank god it wasn't race day because I would have totally blown it.

Thank god I get another go (even if that go is race day).

Thank god I have a coach who will bring me back to earth and remind me of the realistic goal that was initially set for me.

Thank god said coach was able to talk me off the "ledge" I was on today without even knowing it (or maybe she was fully aware that I was on the verge of tears.)

My first 20 mile run was 2:53. No pausing, no stopping, no fudging numbers. Today... barely under 3 hours. I went out too fast and found myself unable to hold on to the pace I set for myself. When I finally hit the "wall" as much as I tried to rally mentally I just couldn't do it.

Are my expectations too high?

Am I being completely unrealistic?

I don't know.

All I know is that I spent countless hours away from an extremely supportive family for 1 Day.

They get it more than I do. They will be content to see me just cross the finish line of my first marathon.

Me?

I still need some work.